I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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