I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
