You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
