is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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