can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
