I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I'm passing your future prison.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i need to put some appletini on your dick
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
