Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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