I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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