so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
