I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
