Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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