If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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