I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
