in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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