you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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