i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
my liver is dry heaving
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