That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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