Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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