Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
