: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
