remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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