I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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