so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
