Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
