Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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