Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I can't turn off my feet"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
