We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
