So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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