We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
