good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
