That's intense
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
