At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
