I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
