I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
