Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
