Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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