All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize