OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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