your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
