Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
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