Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
