i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize