Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
