I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
