He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
