i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
