Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
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So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
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I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
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