Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
