she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize