She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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