At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
