I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
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i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
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I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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