I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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