Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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