So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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