SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
