I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
