I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
smell my finger.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
