Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
