Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's blow job season.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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