I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
