It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
