Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I got her a Nickelback box set.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
