is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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