I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Randomize
