"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So much Jack, so little girl.
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I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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