i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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