Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
