you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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