Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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