So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i will never coherently bang her
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
