Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
