some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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