Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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